Everyone knows what stress feels like, and most people find it unpleasant. With deadlines looming and every task you complete giving rise to two new ones, it can feel like you’re not up to the challenge. It feels like you can’t concentrate on anything and, to make matters worse, your brain seems to be working at half capacity.
Let’s start by looking at what causes stress.
External stressors activate your body’s sympathetic nervous system, which in turn activates your body’s response to perceived threats. This is called the fight-or-flight response, and the name is quite descriptive.
The body compromises a number of secondary functions and blood flow is diverted to the large muscles and parts of the brain where rapid decision-making and sensory perception take place. No valuable energy or time is spent on slow and analytical thinking.
This also means that rational thinking and the ability to weigh one’s own choices and goals are put on hold. Similarly, many of the secondary functions that are less important in an emergency, such as digestion or immune defense, take a back seat as the body optimizes its defenses. This makes it easier for the stressed person to get sick, and the feeling is less reassuring if the stress is prolonged.
It is clear how effective and necessary such a mechanism is for survival. The benefits of stress responses are most evident in the laws of the jungle. Your ancestors had to constantly watch out for wild animals and other natural hazards. Quick reactions were more useful than philosophical contemplation. Similarly, a state of stress gave you the extra strength to get food when it wasn’t available in obvious places.
Evolution has ensured that the mechanism has followed us to the present day, and it has its place in the urban environment. Stress reactions make you spot a recklessly driving electric scooter in time to swerve out of the way before a collision.
Similarly, the stress of an approaching deadline will help you focus your resources on completing a project (although diminished thinking capacity may offset the benefits of increased capacity) or put you in a state where you can read through the night for an upcoming exam without fatigue. Note that decentralized learning may have eliminated the problem before it occurred.
A little stress and constant external stimuli are a necessary and normal part of life. Each of us has been under stress for extended periods of time. However, it is very different to fall into a rhythm of life in which you are chronically more stressed than in a calm, balanced state. At the end of this path is almost inevitably exhaustion, lack of motivation, and forced external changes to your life rhythms, such as therapy sessions and forced vacations.
How to combat stress?
Stress can be relieved, but it’s worth noting that some of the ways we fight it are preventative. This means that anti-stress work should be done even before we are in an overstressed state.
Learn to recognize and control your emotions and thoughts
First, you should learn to become aware of your body’s various reactions to the external environment and be able to name them. Regular meditation is very helpful. You learn to observe the sensations of your body and to name and control them through inner dialog. For example, you might say to yourself: “I feel stressed.” Recognizing and accepting the body’s reaction is enough at this stage. The biggest step has already been taken and you may feel relieved at this point.
It is also important to identify what your feelings are trying to get you to do to relieve stress and alleviate your condition. Remember that most of these activities are reflexive actions that pay interest later. Alcohol, for example, is not an effective remedy for stress, even if it may temporarily dull your mind and relax the body. However, the interest remains to be paid later.
Find things that relax you and bring balance to your life
We all have things that relax and restore our body’s parasympathetic nervous system, the nurturing and relaxing system. These things are individual, of course, but the universal thing about them is that they don’t have negative side effects like, say, drugs or an endless marathon of social media.
Common restorative actions include:
- Spending time with loved ones and friends
- Walking in nature
- Exercise
- Reading
- Listening to music
- Playing
- Any activity you truly enjoy and want to immerse yourself in
Getting started can sometimes feel overwhelming, but the restorative power of being active is many times greater than passive and mind-numbing methods like compulsively browsing social media.
Learn to say no and find the things that really matter
You can’t do everything, whether you want to or not. The most influential factor in the experience of stress is the perceived challenge and inability to perform one’s tasks satisfactorily. When there are too many tasks and too much clutter, the experience of overwhelming workload rises to the surface. You just can’t keep all the balls in the air.
Saying no is easier for some than for others. Every time we say “no,” our social and herd mind screams angrily at us. We subconsciously feel that we are undermining our social status if we don’t go along with everything or live up to environmental expectations.
But the reality is much simpler than that. In all our self-centeredness, we often forget that others don’t pay nearly as much attention to us as we think they do. Much of what we do in the hope of external recognition or reciprocity actually goes unnoticed if we don’t highlight our accomplishments ourselves.
People also appreciate a clear refusal much more than a vague agreement or, worse, an agreement without being able to deliver what they want.
So learn to say no and reduce your extra burden.
Invest in your relationships and ask for help when you need it
People can accomplish much more together than they can alone. No goal or passion is so important that it is worth sacrificing relationships for. So invest in quality time with your loved ones and you’ll soon see the difference it makes to your stress levels.
This is especially worth remembering when you feel like you don’t have a second to give to anyone. That’s a sign that it’s time to let go for a while and recharge your batteries.
In today’s world, stress and exhaustion are not the taboos they once were. So don’t hesitate to speak up if you feel chronically stressed. Those close to you will want to help, and there’s no need to be afraid of causing others distress. Being able to help is one of the most satisfying human experiences. In return, you will surely help your own loved ones in their time of need.
Only stress about things that are within your control
Shakespeare once wrote in the mouth of Hamlet the words
“Nothing is good or bad in itself, thinking only makes it so”.
He is describing how everything is ultimately our interpretation, and no matter how dire our situation is, our mind ultimately creates the experience of fear and stress. Things are rarely as bad or as challenging as we imagine.
One of the central ideas of Stoic philosophy is to focus your attention and thoughts only on the things you can control at the moment. Stress is often caused by the interaction of many different things, even if we can only focus (https://www.opinta.io/blog/how-to-improve-your-focus) on one task at a time.
Some things are within your control, but not right now. In that case, there’s no point in worrying about them until the time comes.
Some things are out of your control, now or in the future. For example, why stress about a tight test schedule when you have no control over it? By accepting the facts and focusing on one controllable thing at a time, you can significantly reduce stress.
